SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND.

Picture credit; Behance.

Edited by; theunusual_writer.

SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND (All shades of Ofofo). Obalande is one of the busiest towns you can ever visit. The traffic is something else, and the people are what? Crazy. There's always something new happening; one hot cup of gist served at the table, human beings slaughtered over palm wine and goat meat, screams from Nagging wives, not forgetting the stench from the local market. Hmm. "Buy tomatoes, fresh pumpkin ."Buy your bra and pant here, for small money; you no go get am like this for anywhere o ."Hawkers were chanting, moving amid the traffic, cars honking, and those noisy elephants called lorries occupying the narrow road. "Ojota! Ojota!" "Ireti! Ireti". Bus conductors shout as they hit the buses aggressively. Dressed in brown hole-filled khaki shorts and a jersey with black boots that had seen better days. They were phenomenal personalities, One that graced the description of Nigerian society. "God, this place is so busy, Jesus Christ!". Said a newbie who was stepping her overly righteous feet into Obalande. "You never see anything ." A passerby said in pity.

It's the Weekend yet again, and one may never know what will go down. Nine to five workers are taking a deep breath, Daddy will be at home, and mummy is all giggly in anticipation of putting on her favorite nightie smelling like vanilla. Everyone has something to be happy for; after all, it's the Weekend except for those who work round the clock. Fliers of the latest party in town hosted by the High and Mighty Chief Makinde were everywhere, In gutters, on the uncemented walls of the various uncompleted buildings that littered Obalande. It was constantly displayed amongst so many important adverts like peak milk, you know, the flier was heaped on newspaper stands, Hawkers were distributing it. Massive, I must say. Chief Makinde had just gotten into town and decided to do something small for the Weekend. His parties were always so unforgettable, One drama after the other, and everyone was itching for Ofofo. Crazy workaholic Nene Afikpo snuggled in her red Toyota Camry, stopped just in front of her favorite bookshop to grab a book for the Weekend. She had exhausted her library and was ready for new picks. Nene, a tall glass of wine in her late thirties, had refused to get married. she was all about "Chasing the bag before the men," and love was something you could hardly ever find in Obalande. Nene, Very tidy and orderly; she could cry her eyes out if anything were out of place, her hands were constantly in soap and water, and she had a carex sanitizer placed carefully in her handbag, she was overly obsessed with perfume and money and would have her glasses on and her head buried into a book at bedtime and not forgetting she could drool over words. Stepping out in her black kitten heels and red suit pants, she walked into the bookshop, and on sighting the flier of chiefs party, she sighed and muttered, " Don't you guys have something better to do with your lives?". She greeted the receptionist and all the staff present with a big smile. They knew her. Carefully looking at each book in her favorite section -Self-help- she searched until her heart tugged at one, "The fisherman and his net. Nene was about to pay when her eyes caught a particular book in the singles section "How to get any man you want ." she quickly rushed and grabbed it, hiding the book behind her back, she walked to the counter. "Hey, nerd!". Nene heard a rich deep bass voice. She slowly turned and was greeted with pearly whites and Full beards. Her head immediately rolled down the boxes her potential husband must tick. He must use any male clichés, e.g., Hey beautiful, hey pretty. He must have white teeth and full bears. "perfect ." Nene screamed within. "Hey," Nene muttered coyly. "Edward" "Nene!". They exchanged names as they shook hands. "You come here to get books, too?". Nene asked. "Not really...This is my first time here; I just need a few materials for a project I'm working on". Edward smiled. "Oh wow! What kind of project? Are you some sort of writer or editor or....?". Nene asked curiously. "Hmmm...let's see. Are you doing anything tonight?". "Not really..I wanted to read...". Nene stuttered. "Meet me at Radlers at 7 pm". He smiled as he handed her a card. "Call me, Nene ." He whispered in her eyes and walked off. "Alright, Edwards!". Nene muttered as she stared at the card. 7 pm at Radlers marked the beginning of a new wave of love in Nene's life, and the rest is history. I don't want to spill.

The day everyone in Obalande was waiting for, even toothless MAA Peru, had finally come. The "Gbas Gbos" party hosted by Chief Makinde was here. Those who were not going were waiting earnestly for the spicy Ofofo. No one knew what would happen this time, and sadly, everyone prayed for the worst. Obalande had been too quiet for some time, and something new had to happen.

"Babe? Babe? Abeg I fit borrow your black gown?". Ivie asked her friend Rukky. Abeg I fit borrow this? I fit borrow that? Was resounding in the one-room apartment they stayed in at Akindele's university, Obalande. "Me I no go dull o ." Aisha said as she put on her waist bead, "I swear I no go dull ooo...you know as tins dey be na, men with Olowo go full this party". Cecilia added, "My guyyyyyy, I trust chief na" Benita said. They were five cheap girls living in a one-room apartment with no life surviving on the peanuts thrown at them by the stingy men of Obalande; little wonder the Gbas Gbos party was such a big launch into the sea. E get as e dey do me do me do do me, I like the way you dey do meeeee......

The speakers were blasting with P-

square's song as girls with skimpy gowns and excessive makeup, their lips blazing red, some others purple, some blue, trooped into the event center flanked by men. They all looked like glorified masquerades.

"You dey mad? Werey! Will you allow me to pass? Chai! This man won collect my destiny, I go break bottle for here o". Ivie shouted at the door of the event center. Guess what? Ivie and her friends couldn't afford the gate fee of one thousand five hundred, and they were trying to force their way in. "I say allow me to pass, I be chief first girlfriend and if he find out say I Dey outside you fit die oh ." Ivie kept shouting. "Ivie, you are shouting ." Benita tapped her, whispering. "Come smallie, you wan collect? Abi you no wan cash out?". Hmmm, a story for another day. *** Dun dun dun(drums beating).

"Get out of my house! You are a

disgrace". Oworu's mother pushed her out when she was 10. She stole smoked fish at the market to cook soup for her boyfriend, Zulu. Oworu's mother was flogged mercilessly at the local market for the sin Oworu had committed. Her father left when she was much younger, and Oworu saw an opportunity to run away and never came back, and she ran into the streets. She met "Madam" and became a prostitute. End of the story, don't ask me any questions. Chuckles.

Oworu Ladi, the famous hookup girl. Who hasn't had a taste of her? She walked into the event center, all dressed up, with different girls following behind. She was all ready with her net for a big catch. It was once rumored that her fetuses were littered all over Obalande's Central gutter; some even rumored that she had lost her womb. I remember someone saying she once complained about hearing her dead children cry, but it was her life, and who made anyone the judge of it ?Hmm. The party had kick-started and Tipsy Oworu migrated to the middle of the event center. The spotlight was instantly on her as she wriggled her seductive waist to patoranking's "Abule ."Everyone was cheering her on; different men took turns rocking her as she continued her show. After a few minutes, she danced her way out of the crowd staggering lightly. And I tell you the truth; No one saw Oworu after that nor knew her whereabouts. That was sadly the end of Oworu Ladi, she had danced her last.

The news of her disappearance spread around Obalande like Lassa fever.

"Where's Oworu?? Una dey craze?'. MADAM screamed when she heard that Oworu had been missing. "Ehhhrnnnnn...Madam, I haven't seen her o". Chiamaka stuttered in fear. "Maybe she ran away." "Oworu no fit run, she dey very loyal..very loyal to Madam". One of the apprentices added. "Kai! That girl na money Una no know???? Na bullion van she beeee o ". MADAM shouted. " Kampala! Kampala! " Madam beckoned on her right-hand man. "Find her. If not, I go waste all of Una". "Yes, Madam!." Wow! wow! Wow! How was he supposed to find a..sorry, it was a mistake. Lips sealed. **** A month had gone by since Oworu disappeared. MAA Bosaki, the famous Olofofo, was walking down her street with a chewing stick inside her mouth, pure water in her right hand, and her purse tucked between her left armpit. Although she was a renowned rumor peddler, no one could ever deny that there was always an atom of truth in all her Olofofo. "Obalande, come and see, oh." MAA Bosaki screamed at the top of her voice. And people from different corners rushed to where she stood only to be greeted with a lifeless mutilated body, but there was something strange, the face was left untouched, but an Unknown person cut off the private parts. "Heiiiiiii." Onlookers screamed. And after a while, someone shouted from behind, "No, be Oworu be this??". And it instantly dawned on all that Oworu's body had been found. "Na she oooo ."Someone else added. And before you know it, news spread around Obalande that Oworu had been used for ritual by one of her many boyfriends. Who told them? Were they present when it happened? Olofofo's "Anyway, I don't know what happened to her ."I'd leave it to you. "You mean she just disappeared?"."Yes! I don't know."

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