DIARY OF A LAGOS PRINCESS {EP 3}.

PHOTO CREDIT: VECTEEZY

EDITED BY THEUNUSUAL_WRITER.

 IFE THE NEXT OPRAH WINFREY!!!!

Hey everyone,

It’s me again. Yes! It’s me, Ife. How has your week been? Mine has been a bit patchy, but there’s a lot of stew and bitter kola.

“It is a very cool morning.

The weather is chill and full of surprises.

You might have wondered for a second.

Does Ife have a life in the mornings?

Does she know what mornings are?

Does life happen to Ife in the mornings too?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

The girls are fast asleep.

With Kofi snoring like an oversized “Elede”.

I meant Elede, like a pig.

I suddenly started feeling all giddy and motivated.

I started feeling like those Gen Z YouTubers.

That would grace your screen with their overly smiley faces.

For a second, you’ll think life is just a big bed full of sweet-smelling red roses.

And all you have to do in life is dream big and stay consistent.

Trust me

Emi ni Joseph

I don dream; I don tire.

I quickly tiptoed to Kofi’s gift bag.

Quick Story! Quick Story!

Her cheating runaway boyfriend came back begging yesterday evening with plenty of gift items and Orishirishi.

See!

He even bought Suya and ice cream for us.

IFE'S ADVICE: if you no get boyfriend or the boyfriend wey you get no be better pesin, try make friends with people wey their boyfriends dey reasonable.

In other words,

If you don't have a boyfriend or if your boyfriend isn't a good person, try making friends with someone whose boyfriend is reasonable.

Don’t say I didn’t tell you anything.

After all the initial GRA-GRA, Kofi accepted the apology.

I took the very fancy pink mug from the bag, boiled hot water, poured a satchel of Nescafé into the cup, added milk, and then hot water. Then I stirred it.

I kept the cup on the table, set my ring light, and set my phone. I was about to make the best speech ever. Emi the next Oprah Winfrey when my village people struck.

I don’t know how it happened, but the mug fell from my hand and broke. In summary, Kofi gave me a very hot slap and told me to get a life. That was how I, Ife, lost the opportunity to become the next Oprah Winfrey. As I’m typing this, my left cheek is marked with Kofi’s finger print.

Please send in your condolences.

Yours sincerely,

Ife-yam-leg.

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